Oh dang........

You know those moments when time seems to slow down because something has just gone horribly wrong but there’s nothing you can do about it? I had one of those moments tonight at the basketball game as I watched my music go sailing over the edge of the balcony into the crowd below. We were playing in the Energy Solutions arena in Salt Lake, and the pep band was up in one corner at the edge of the balcony. It was very cramped, and so we had to make do with little flimsy fold-up stands that were highly unstable. During the game Brother Mac was sending the pep band out one by one to go get food. My turn came, and I moved my stand to one side so I could scramble out over the seats. My treacherous stand didn’t take kindly to being moved. I guess I didn’t set it down carefully enough, because it tipped over, measured its full length across the row in front of me, and launched my music into thin air. All I could think of was, “I hope no one is sitting there when it lands.” After a few stunned seconds I looked around and realized that I had to go retrieve my folder--actually, Mark had to point that out to me because I was pretty well shocked. I climbed out and went hunting for my wayward music, crimson up to my hairline from embarrassment and a really bad case of the giggles, but I didn’t know my way around the arena so a security man brought it back to the band before I even found the right portal to the lower level. I still don’t know if it hit anyone on the way down.

Bemused

It doesn’t seem logical that biology class + essay question + poetry = A on test. However, it works. At least, it worked for me. My bio professor is determined to teach us life biology, not the lame text book “this is a cell” cliche course that students have to suffer through over and over. He’s also adamant that we be creative and express our individuality. Therefore, our midterms consist of an essay question on material covered in class or in the out of class reading. The only stipulation is that you have to answer the question fully--other than that, anything goes.
That being the case, when the last midterm rolled around, I decided to do something a little bit out of the norm. I’d gotten very little sleep the night before due to a very busy day and an anthropology paper, so I wasn’t feeling up to writing a technical brief on a paper about bat hawks that I had read but not internalized. I vaguely recalled two of the statistics from the paper, so armed with those nebulous facts and a little bit of luck, I went to work on my midterm and 40 minutes later ended up with this:

Question: Why could bat hawks be said to be living a precarious existence?

Dusk falls
a cave breathes forth fluttering shreds of midnight
the bats tumble into the air like musicians on a stage
warming up their symphony of noiseless sound
Death strikes quickly on feathered wings
a hawk scythes through the swirling cloud
plucking choice morsels from the boughs of night
and devouring them
six seconds from talon to stomach
Fast food, indeed
Seven times the hawk reaps its harvest of chiroptera
in twice as many deadly passes
Some courses, though caught, are deemed too unwieldy or spirited
to eat on the wing
and plummet to earth
mute and crumpled testimonies to a picky eater
Soon the dinner rush ends as dinner rushes out
to deal death to smaller winged creatures of the night
The hawk’s window of opportunity closes
as evanescent as a moonbeam
that in-between time when the world slips into slumber
and the netherworld creeps into its place
Tonight the hawk will rest content
full of bats too slow to evade their end
But tomorrow?

In any normal bio class the professor would think I was crazy for writing poetry. Dr. Black’s comment? “Delightful.”

Cell phone follies

This is a pretty common scene from my life:

Jenny sits peacefully on her bed doing homework in a still room.
Cell phone: BEEP!! (Alarm for whatever Jenny is baking)
Jenny: AHHHHH!!!! She screams, flails around wildly for a few seconds in surprise, and nearly falls off the bed. If she happens to be holding her phone when it makes noise, she will almost throw it when startled. This behavior is usually followed by several minutes of laughter from Jenny and any roommates within earshot.

Hey, at least I'm entertaining when I'm spastic, right? This happened twice tonight--and it's significantly more startling when you're holding the phone than when it just vibrates in your pocket. Which, of course, I was doing when it rang. Bother.

Play it again, Sam

Today I spent the better part of an hour practicing a grand total of 24 measures in the solo I'm learning. It was simultaneously heartening and depressing. Depressing, because I had to repeat it over and over and over again to go back and fix something (or several somethings). Heartening, because I'm pretty sure I had it almost up to tempo--which is lickety-split fast--and because I could pinpoint exactly what was wrong and I knew how to fix it. It might take me three or four repeats to find the right way to fix it, but I could fix it (although whether or not it would stay fixed the next time I played was still sort of dicey). Finally, the endless hours of ensemble rehearsal are having an effect. If you spend almost nine and a half years under a conductor's baton, you eventually pick up on the specific remedies for specific things. For a long time, I felt like I was playing music by feel--just sort of flailing around and hoping I get it right enough to make playing it right a habit. But now I finally understand and know enough to practice with precision. I think those 24 measures improved, although it's hard to be really objective when you're the one playing, but even if they didn't, I came out of that practice room feeling like I had accomplished something. And that, my friends, is immensely satisfying.

Love is in the air

And everyone is getting engaged! I kid you not, I know at least 10 people who have gotten married or engaged since the beginning of the semester. It pretty much blows me away. I can't decide if this fall is unusual in that respect, or if I just know a lot more people of marriageable age now. Whatever the reason, it seems like marriage and engagement has been the prime topic in my apartment this past week. My roommates and I were talking about that one night and figured that there was a message we just weren't getting. Not, of course, that we are avoiding getting engaged, but it seems to be avoiding us (we are, with the exception of Sarah, the dateless wonders). None of us are opposed to the idea--a common phrase in my apartment is "I want a boy!" Our conversation that night ended with us deciding that if there really was something we were supposed to be getting out of all the talk of engagements, well, by all means, "bring on the men!" ;)

Random and/or little known facts about me

-I wish on a star every night before I fall asleep. Hopefully I can find a real star, but if not, I wish on the glow-in-the-dark star on my ceiling.
-I went into the BYU stadium for the first time yesterday--and true to form, it was for a band function, not a sporting event.
-I have a sweater fetish. And a scarf fetish and a long sock fetish. It's getting to be a little ridiculous.
-I was in gymnastics and ballet and tap when I was about 5. It apparently had no effect on my lack of coordination. I still can't do a handstand or a cartwheel.
-I just tried to spell coordination with a q.
-I want to hike all the national parks in the western US with my dad before I die.
-I really like giraffes.
-I want to write a book someday.
-I want to go into experimental archeology as a hobby. Those people spend their time recreating the technology of ancient cultures--basically everything you want to do as a kid when you're playing in the backyard pretending to be an Indian.
-I really really like my social dance class. The cha-cha is SO much fun! Please, someone take me dancing.

P.S.--Rebecca posted a random list first and I liked it a lot so I swiped the idea.

The List: Most Influential Albums

As I was perusing Elise's blog I came across a post about the most influential songs and albums in her life--the songs and albums that represented a rite of passage or a life change. That got me to thinking about how music has shaped my life. So, here's my list of influential songs:

--Jupiter, the bringer of Jollity by Gustav Holst. This song has been my favorite song for as long as I can remember. I don't know when I first heard it--all I really remember is being head over heels in love with it from the time I first discovered classical music in my early childhood. I'm still head over heels in love with it. It is exciting and rich and vibrant, and the chorale is heart-stoppingly beautiful. I love that the horns get to introduce every theme. This is the quintessential horn player's song, and probably one of the biggest reasons that I started playing French horn in the first place. If each person, each soul, had a song, this would be mine.

--You Are Loved by Josh Groban. I'd never heard this song until I got to college. Somehow--I don't remember how, but like most other things, it was probably spur of the moment--it became our apartment theme song. We would listen to it when we were down, when anyone was having boy problems or other troubles, at girl's night in and our 1 AM dance parties in Marci and Christie's room, and whenever else we felt like it. There was one Sunday where we piled on our little loveseat (there were at least 4 of us on there), opened the windows, turned the song on, and serenaded everyone walking home from church at the top of our lungs. I would never have done something like that in high school--I was just too shy and self conscious. Freshman year changed that. My roommates changed that. You Are Loved embodies the friendships forged that year and how six very different girls became each other's family, support group, and best friends.

--The 2008 Nauvoo Brass Band Music. These songs pervaded every waking moment of this last summer. That summer changed my life forever, in too many ways to count. I learned so much about myself and the gospel, I made lifelong friends, I changed my major, and I fell in love with with that city and that beautiful temple shining like a jewel nestled in a bend of the Mississippi.

This isn't an exhaustive list by any means. My life is a continuation of songs, and to define them all and everything they represent would take a long, long time. Perhaps I'll add to this list if something really special comes to mind. What are your songs, and what do they mean to you?

"Raindrops on roses…"

Today I was wandering into the HFAC (because I live there) and I started thinking about how I like it there. So I decided to make a list of my favorite places here. I have lots of other favorite places, like my home, the cabin, Nauvoo, wherever my family and my cat are, and my bed, but these are my favorite places here at BYU:

-The E wing in the HFAC. That's where I spend most of my time when I'm not at home or in class. The fourth floor is where most of the instrumental professors have their offices, and there is always music. There's at least two pianos going constantly, as well as a bassoon or an oboe or a tuba or a horn. Even at 7:45 in the morning you can hear a trumpet concerto wafting from that direction. I like walking through the hallway on the second floor and listening to all the students in the practice rooms. There's a lot a lot of talent here, and it's fun to hear snippets of different songs and styles as I pass by. And I tend to run into Nauvoo friends down there because they live there too. :)
-The brick walkway that runs from the Smith Field House to the Maeser Stairs. It's halfway up the hill and surrounded by trees. It feels very secluded and peaceful. If you walk quietly enough, no one knows you're there and you can be still and listen to the birds sing.
-The hill in front of the testing center. From there you can look out across the entire valley and see the mountains at the other end. It's a magnificent view.
-The JFSB courtyard in general and the fountain in particular. I like to sit on the edge of the fountain and soak up the sunlight as I play in the water. For some reason that is incredibly soothing. The fountain makes just the right amount of watery background noise, the cool water feels just right when you're sitting on the sun-warmed granite, and sometimes students will bring their children by and you can watch cute little kids run around.
-The main floor of the MOA. It's light and airy even though it's mostly stone, it always smells so good at noon when I get out of class because the Cafe is open, and if you stand in the right place you can see Christ in Carl Heinrich Bloch's painting of the Pool of Bethesda.

My favorite places are the peaceful ones, the little pockets of stillness and sunshine and greenery and music in this busy world. These are places where I can go and let the world fall away for a moment. I don't have to think, I can just be. We don't do that enough. We need to take more time to sit and savor the joy of being alive.

Sometimes I am very very dense

Today after band I was walking home with Rebecca and we were talking about how happy we are to be music majors. I'm not actually a music major--I have to make it into the School of Music--but I am trying my very hardest to get there. It's kind of a scary prospect since the BYU School of Music is extremely competitive, but I've realized over the past few days that there is nowhere else I would rather be. Nothing makes me as happy and joyful as music does (and being a music major gives me a great excuse to be as enthusiastic as I want to be about nerdy things like horn concertos). Band is by far my favorite class, although my horn lessons and my D&C class run close seconds, and I have never come out of there unhappy. It's impossible not to be happy. I get to spend two hours playing my horn with great people who are fast becoming my good friends and becoming part of something so much bigger than myself. We are all working towards the same goal, and even though we are very focused, we have a ton of fun. These are great, great people I get to be with. And that's why I am dense. For a long time, I said that I would never go into music. I felt that I didn't have the skill or the knowledge or the talent to make it in the music world. But now that I've made the decision to be a music major, I look back at my life and I have to laugh. I've always gravitated to the band people. I've always admired them and always felt most comfortable in that group. The people who are involved in music have always been my closest friends and had the greatest impact on my life. Even though I know I could go into almost any field and do well in it academically, what it really comes down to is the kind of people you work with. There are very nice people in my other classes, and I've made some good friends. But I don't fit in there like I do in my music classes. Music is my world. Music people are my people.
And even more than that, I realized one day in Nauvoo that I couldn't live without music in my life. I thought about the prospect of never being part of an ensemble again, of putting down my horn for the last time, and my mind shied away from the very idea. That kind of bleak existence isn't life. That, to me, would be like losing a part of your soul. I knew I just couldn't do it. So I made the decision to do what I had said I would never do, and found my way back to the world that I have always lived in even though I didn't realize it. For years I've told people in a semi-joking manner that music is my life--now I finally understand how true that is, and how true it has been all along. It is my life, and I couldn't ask for anything better.

This is a test

I'm almost certain that my roommate, my sister, and I are the only readers of this blog. At least, I post things and get no feedback, so either I have no readers or my posts aren't comment worthy. Hmmm. We shall see what this post gets…

So much for normal…

I've really been missing my Nauvoo family lately. I see a few of the sisters who go to BYU off and on during the week, and although those are definitely bright spots in my day, I miss seeing everyone all together. It feels like a part of me is missing. I spent every waking moment with those people for three and a half months. Even more than that, I spent every moment with at least two other people--awake, asleep, eating, reading, you name it we were together. Especially Sister Lieber. We were companions for the entire summer, so she was never more than a holler away. I don't think you can really understand what my feelings are until you spend an extended period of time serving with the same people day in and day out. It's like missing your shadow, or a piece of your soul. We, as a band, were bound together first by a common mission, then by blossoming friendship, and now by love. I love those people with all of my heart--they changed my life and lifted me to heights I didn't know existed. They are my brothers and sisters in every sense of the word except having the same set of biological parents (instead we have the Blackintons). Oh how I miss them.

Sister Reid wrote this song for our band reunion a few weeks after we got back from Nauvoo. Her songs were the other constant music this summer, so I think it's fitting that she can give voice to my feelings tonight:

Nauvoo Jones
By Sister Noelle Reid

Now we're home,
Back from whence we came.
But now I'm home,
Things don't seem the same.
Not only are you always on my mind,
But there are some things Nauvoo left behind:

I'm feeling for my tag,
Backing my car,
Wond'ring where my bloomers are.
Now I jump when I hear a phone.
So much for normal, I've got the Nauvoo Jones.

I take Sister Mom when I go to the store.
It seems that I can't be alone anymore.
I sing "Hello, everybody!" when a piano starts to play.
Will my chigger bites ever go away?

I'm feeling for my tag,
Backing my car,
Wond'ring where my bloomers are.
Now I jump when I hear a phone.
So much for normal, I've got the Nauvoo Jones.

I use foul in everything I say.
I miss my vest, to my own dismay.
Boys scare me now and puns do too,
And all my stories start with "one time in Nauvoo"

When I was wearing my tag, and backing the van.
Days never went according to plan,
But I had my companion; I was never alone,
Now I'm back, but am I really home?

Because I'm feeling for my tag, and backing my car,
Wond'ring where the heck my sisters are.
Now I jump when I hear a phone.
So much for normal, I've got the Nauvoo Jones.
So much for normal, I've got the Nauvoo Jones!

I love you.

Life is beautiful

Today I was studying for my D&C class, and I came to understand something that my teacher has been telling the class all along. Brother Perkins really stresses studying not to get an A in the class, but to receive personal revelation. From day one he has been emphasizing the steps we need to take to receive guidance from the scriptures. Today I was doing my assigned reading in D&C 76, where it talks about the celestial kingdom. And for the first time, I really understood how guidance from the scriptures works. Even though I was reading about the celestial kingdom, I learned things that applied exactly to my life and my struggles, and I gained insight on how to overcome them. And you know, even though I got exactly the answer I was seeking, it was something that I didn't think had any relation to my problems at all. I guess that shows how much I understand about how spiritual and temporal things relate. I'm still working to overcome the mindset that spiritual and temporal things are separate. I don't know exactly when or where I acquired that thought process, but it is kind of a pain sometimes. It's a roadblock to understanding. But when I can get beyond that and start making connections between spiritual principles and temporal situations, I am awed by the magnificence of this gospel and how intimately it applies to every aspect of my life. Today my scripture study buoyed me up and made me excited to go forward and tackle life, with all its attendant joys and problems. This is a wonderful, beautiful world and I am going to go make the most of it!

A theory about life

So, I have this theory about life I like to call the balance theory. It seems to me that life is, in essence, a very delicate balancing act. Consider life as a long tightrope. We have to walk along the tightrope--keep progressing and moving forward--or else we'll fall off (and I suppose you'd die when that happens). Meanwhile, we have to survive all the things in our lives that pull us in different directions. We have to find the happy medium between spending all our time on homework or school and spending all our time on pleasure. We have to strike the balance of giving enough of ourselves to school, church, work, family, friends, the community, and to ourselves to feel like we are doing what we ought to be doing, but not giving so much that we burn out. Now add to that tricky tightrope walk the many obligations that we have to juggle--all the deadlines and meetings and the burden of an overly full schedule. That seems hard enough, doesn't it? We have to walk, balance, and juggle at the same time. I suppose you could eventually master that if given a long enough amount of time and a set number of things to keep in the air. But life just isn't like that. Life refuses to calm down long enough for you to get a handle on things and become competent at handling the different pulls on you. Instead, it varies the size, weight, and number of the forces tugging on you and the things you are tossing in the air--and when it's feeling especially perverse, it will throw in a few flaming batons of crisis and snicker as you try not to get fried.

The point of this post (besides expounding on a theory that I'm afraid might actually be a universal law) is that I am having the hardest time figuring out how walk this tightrope of life--I can't seem to find time to do homework, exercise, study my scriptures, sleep, take care of the hundred tiny bits of housekeeping that always need to be done, find a job, practice, and have a little time for personal fulfillment all in one day. Something always seems to get slighted or left out entirely. Apparently I'm supposed to be able to fit everything that is needful into one day, but it never seems to happen. It's frustrating. I know my physical balance leaves something to be desired, but it's much more irritating to be unable to keep my life in balance no matter how hard I try. Bother it all. I want to go back to Nauvoo. Life was much simpler there.

"I use antlers in all of my DE--corating…"

Ok, I said I wasn't going to post any more before I left for Nauvoo. However, I have a little bit of time on my hands and this made me laugh. As I was looking up baggage restrictions online to find out what I could do with my horn on the flight to Nauvoo, I found this list of things that you can have checked as baggage:

• Archery equipment
  
• Bicycles
• Boogie boards
• Fishing equipment
• kayaks and canoes (can you imagine taking that into the airport?)
• musical instruments
• paintball equipment
• parachuting equipment
• surfboards
• vaulting poles
• windsurfing equipment (again, imagine walking into the airport with a windsurfing board and sail and mast…)
  
• crematory containers (because we like taking dead relatives with us when we travel)
  
• and my personal favorite, antlers

People really take racks of antlers on commercial airlines? Can't you just picture someone walking into the airport with, say, a couple pairs of antlers, their parachute (although you'd think they'd want that on the plane with them), and their canoe?

The Road goes ever on and on…

…down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way,
Where many paths and errands meet.
And wither then? I cannot say.
--Bilbo Baggins, The Lord of the Rings

I'm feeling very reflective today. Right now is a time of many many endings and many new beginnings. I'm three finals and four days shy of finishing my freshman year of college. All the friends I have made this year will very soon be scattering to the four corners of the earth, and I might never see some of them again. I'll miss them all.
My own journey this summer will take me halfway across the country--I'll be spending four months in Nauvoo, Illinois, riding around town playing my horn on the bandwagon as a Young Performing Missionary. I am so excited I can hardly stand waiting until May. This is an adventure I never thought I'd have even in my wildest dreams. Waiting for summer to arrive, it has certainly felt like a dream. But the reality of it is sinking in as the school year draws to a close. Going to Nauvoo became very real today, actually. My bishop called me into his office after church today and, with no further ado, set me apart as a missionary. Yep, I'm a missionary. I'm a little overwhelmed by it, and uncertain about how the next two weeks are going to work out (Do I have to stay with a companion now? If I do, how the heck is that going to work when I go take my finals?). Oh well. I'm sure it will all work out how it's supposed to.
This will probably be my last post until school starts again in September. Until then, have a good life, enjoy yourselves, and think of me every once in a while. See you on the other side!

P.S.--Send me gifts! ;)

Oops....

People tell me that when that phrase comes out of my mouth, they begin fearing for their safety. You would think that they would have learned by now that "Oops" only signifies a minor disaster. It's when I say "Oh NO" that you really ought to worry.

What prompted this post is another one of my small cooking disasters. You might think that I couldn't get into trouble with a cake mix where the only directions are "Just add water." Sigh. Once again, I have managed to do the unthinkable. Somewhere between adding the water and putting the cakes in the oven, something must have gone wrong. I didn't notice until I started smelling smoke. I guess the batter was a little too poofy, because I looked in the oven and found the cakes basically exploding over the sides of the pans. A big clump of batter had fallen on one of the heating elements and was well on its way to being a little cremated lump on the bottom of the oven. Oops…

So, now I have another thing to add to my list of college cooking disasters--things like brazier bread, chocolate truffle mush (which was supposed to be cakes), deformed Easter rolls, extremely colorful deviled eggs, and my personal favorite, the night when the blender came apart and refried beans splattered everywhere.

One of the great mysteries of the universe…

Why do songs get stuck in your head? I don't understand this phenomenon. Actually, the thing that I really don't understand is every morning I get up and immediately a country song starts going through my head. I have been exposed to a great deal of country music this year since two of my roommates are hard core country junkies. I don't mind that, but having a country radio station in my head every morning is a little bit much. And the songs that play aren't even the songs I was hearing the night before. If I have to have a radio station in my head in the shower, why can't it be Broadway show tunes or Copland or John Williams songs? I realize I'm exposing my nerdiness with my choice of music, but come on, we're talking about a person who walks around the house singing Strauss horn concertos. Which, by the way, are amazing. You should listen to some. ;)

:)

Admit it. You turned your head sideways to read it.

Death be not proud

As I sit here at my computer waiting for midnight to roll around so I can register for classes, a lot of random things are running through my head (don't be alarmed, this is my normal state of consciousness). One of the things I have been pondering lately is passing from this life. One of my dear friends just had two relatives pass away in the last few days. That, in connection with something I learned in a class last year, prompted today's thought.

Last semester in my humanities class we talked about John Donne's metaphysical poetry. Normally I don't go in for really abstract poetry, although I like more normal poetry a good deal, but one of his poems struck me. Here it is:

Death be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not so,
For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee,
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,
Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell,
And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,
And better then thy stroake; why swell'st thou then;
One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.

This is a very beautiful poem, but what really stuck with me was a quote from the movie Wit. Wit is about a college English professor who discovers that she has very advanced cancer, and it shows her journey from being a cold and uncaring soul to realizing what life is truly about. "Death be not proud" is one of the central themes. The scene that impressed me was a flashback to the professor's days as a college student. She is talking to her English teacher about a paper she wrote on the poem, and her teacher is chiding her on her interpretation of the last line. She supposed that the last line was a triumphant retort against death; her teacher said no, it wasn't, it was much quieter and more subtle: "Nothing but a breath, a comma, separates life from life everlasting."

Isn't that beautiful? Let me read it again.
"And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die."
Nothing but a breath, a comma, separates life from life everlasting.

Unexpected repercussions of textbook reading

I have decided that I would like to post a thought of the day. I would like to post a profound thought each day, but I fear that my profundity tends toward the ridiculous when subjected to close scrutiny. Ah well. I'll give it a try anyway.

This thought has been wandering around my head since I happened upon it a week or two ago. I was outside reading my physics book on one of the few truly lovely days we have had this spring, and came across this statement: "…light has greatly enhanced our capacity to investigate and understand the nature of the universe." At first I seized on that phrase out of sheer relief that I had managed to battle through the chapter on alternating current circuits (sorry Dad, but I will never understand electricity well enough to be an engineer), but then I started thinking about it a little more. Light really is instrumental in so much of what we do and how we learn. D&C 93:36 says "The glory of God is intelligence, or, in other words, light and truth." So if the glory of God is light, and light helps us understand the world…then it follows that our understanding of the world comes directly from God. God is guiding how we understand our universe. That gave me pause for thought, and I spent a while pondering it and looking at the sunshine all around me. (Unfortunately it also killed my "studying physics" mindset--I was more interested in contemplating the cosmos). I don't think the writers of my physics text were intending to make a doctrinal point, but they managed quite well regardless.

And thus I am launched on a grand new adventure

Since Elise has a blog, and I very much enjoy reading it because it displays her personality and wit, I decided that I would like to do something along similar lines. I can't promise that what I write will be interesting or informative, but I hope it may be enjoyable to some people. I think I will enjoy it, and that is really the primary objective, is it not?
A note on the, um, unusual URL: That is a tribute to fatherly concern. When Elise started her blog, Dad wanted to make sure she had an innocuous web address, and suggested something involving dot matrices. She declined, but his suggestion sparked my sense of whimsy. This one's for you, Dad. I love you.